NEWS - Does that mean NOT EVEN WORTH WATCHING?

So, I'm home sick today . . . can there be anthing more boring??? Yep, watching the news. I thought that maybe I would use the day to catch up on the latest. So I tuned into CNN . . . what could be more up to date and accurate than 24 hour news? My husband had read some of the news to me from MSNBC. I was intrigued by the report on the Military Anaylysts on CNN and NBC, etc. and was looking forward to hearing their take on what had been written. Well, here are the HEADLINE stories for CNN, slightly out of order, but I really don't think their sequence is going to affect their historical impact. I learned about the bozo who is divorcing her husband and has a vid on YouTube, then there were the suspect UFO's that turned out to be flares tied to helium balloons, next the child walker that says "bang, bang get your gun"(I'm starting to drift off at this point . . . how to . . . how to . . . how to turn the page of this Car & Driver Magazine), I then learned about Obama's unfinished waffle and the auction on E-bay for it, oh yah watch out for those wild monkeys (how to. . . start a roll of toilet paper - I hate doing that) that got out, then there was the lady who lost her 4 carat dimond by flushing it down the toilet, brief interruption with the polygamy deal that's been going on for approximately 3 weeks now(snorrrrrre), um that General Pertras or whatever his name is might get promoted but more to come and finally, did you know there is a very small statue of Mickey Mouse, make completely of Gold???? Now this could have been a slow day for the gang. After all, there is the entire country of the USA to cover. Then there's the neighbors and oh yah, the world. Not so much happening I guess. In any case, if I were to believe that one's intelligence was affected by today's news, I would venture to say, that not only was my intelligence 'insulted', but I'm almost afraid that the long reaching arm of CNN may have even diminished my intelligence. I think the culprite story was the toy that cried Bang!!!! I have been left babbling and drooling. Mamma. . . mammma!?